Traveling Thoughts

I’ve just been promoted to my new job as a developer within the iRobot company. Powered by words imprinted on my mind by Einstein “Imagination is more important than knowledge…” I walk into my office, not equipped with a desk, but the walls covered in chalkboard cloth, and boxes of parts. It takes me back to when I was a child with a box of legos, the possibilities were endless. This is more than a box of legos though, this is a box of parts that will create the next iRobot. I take my lab coat off the hook hanging on the back of the door, put it and my goggles on and dive into the box of parts.

As I’m swimming in possible robot parts I think back to when I was a child at science fairs. What was I going to invent, what crazy hairbrained idea was going to be science fair project. I also think back to when as a child, there were chores that I hated. The one science fair project that I never did (because every other student did it) was a pooper scooper. I absolutely hated going outside every Saturday into the backyard with my sisters. We were sent to the dog yard with our little shovels and our buckets to pick up the dog poo. Life was grand as a child with a dog…really…

But now, as I sit amidst gadgets and gizmos surrounded by chalkboards, I begin to imagine. I begin to think on what has already been branded with the iRobot name. The Roomba can travel from carpet to hard floors and pick up dirt, hair, dust and debris. The Scooba preps, washes, scrubs and dries hard floor surfaces. The Dirt Dog travels beyond the house and into the workshop, garage, patio and deck to pick up mall nuts, bolts, dirt, dust and other debris. There is a legacy of products that precede my creation, The Grand Pooba(h), and I have to make sure that it lives up to the iRobot name.

That’s right, I said Pooba(h), it’s gotta have the (h) because you need the ahhhhhh sound. The Grand Pooba(h). So, here we go, it stands a little higher from the ground than the Roomba, it’s wheels are all terrain, and it’s a taller than a normal Roomba to accommodate for larger specimens of doggie poo. The Grand Pooba(h) can travel on dirt, gravel, rocks, or grass and uses a scoop as opposed to the brushes of the Roomba or Dirt Dog to scoop the doggie poo into it’s poo bin. The poo bin contains a bag that gets sealed when the Pooba(h) decides that it is getting full. At which point, just like the iRobot® Roomba® Scheduler with Intelli-Bin™ for Pets it will alert you that it’s full and needs a new bag. (And since the bag is already sealed, you don’t have to deal with the stink of the contained matter).

The scoop has slits in it such that if it’s traveling along gravel or dirt it won’t acquire too much in it’s poo bin. To avoid picking up larger objects other than those of it’s purpose The Grand Pooba(h) will be developed to sense certain molecules in the air to notify it that it’s approaching animal fecal matter and that it should begin scooping.

The Grand Pooba(h) will carry over many of the great features like the iRobot® Roomba® Scheduler with Intelli-Bin™ for Pets such as the scheduler so that your yard is always clean. But it’s also got a new feature. It comes with the Self-Charging Home Base to which it will return when it is off duty, but from the home base, you can program The Grand Pooba(h)’s territory. By giving it a few dimensions, it will go about it’s job and clean up the poo between a certain area and return to it’s Home Base.

[begin commercial] Tired of picking up doggie poo. Sick of hearing the kids complain about having to do doggie doodie? The Grand Pooba(h) by iRobot is just for you. The Grand Pooba(h) is coming soon to a store near you where you can pick your color to match your terrain and not ever have to worry about seeing an unbelonging spec of ungoodness in your yard. The Grand Pooba(h) goes about it’s job incognito and silently and will only speak to let you know that it’s bag needs to be removed. Cleaning up your yard of the pet’s mess has just become easier. [end commercial]

As the bubbly cloud above my head fades and my lab coat and goggles dissipate from what is imagined and what is real, you’ve now got not a developer for the iRobot company but a simple storyteller (ahem, blogger) with a vivid imagination. The cause of this imagining, PPP Blog Battle Royale.