Traveling Thoughts

At some point, there may be the creation of The Grand Pooba(h). iRobot has given me all kinds of power with their little robots and the ability to modify them. Building my own functionality into their robots is the future, but now, right now, LET’S GET READY TO ROOMBA!!!

BioHazard the Roomba is my Roomba, an iRobot Roomba® 416 Vacuum Cleaning Robot (item number 4105) to be exact. He’s little, lethal and legendary; a menacing and imposing figure. When he’s not in the 5×5 ring fighting whatever’s thrown at him (Danger PPPostie and his party) he’s out defending his territory; capturing the unwanted miscreants that inhabit the carpets and hardwood floors of my castle. He ensnares them in darkness and brings total annihilation to their kind.

This was well shown in the film of his recent battle against Danger PPPostie who showed up with his party (as usually happens when PPP arrives).

He was put up to a hard task with the arrival of the challenger’s crew (normally this wouldn’t have been allowed but BioHazard didn’t fight it because he had a point to prove), not only did he have the normal miscreants (dirt, hair, dust and debris) of the carpet in the ring but he had the added task of proving that he could clean the entire ring when the party confetti hit the ground.

But he proved he could do the job when he was fully done cleaning up and all the miscreants were trapped deep inside the pit of his belly.

BioHazard the Roomba is not totally merciless though. He has respect for the domains of others and to keep from overtaking land that’s not rightfully his, he has two sentinels immediately available (the power to awaken them, i.e. batteries, not included) that keep him in check and stand guard so that when the temptation to grow his empire creeps upon him he is unable to do so.

This evil overlord, (ahem Roomba) does not work alone. He has got minions to help him accomplish his biding. As he roams his territory they spin around at a high speed to pick up dirt, hair, dust and debris. Anything in their way (the unwanted miscreants) is quickly swept up and tossed into prison, unable to escape, and can do nothing but await the eventual plummet into the abyss of darkness (as you empty the belly of the beast, I mean Roomba, into your trashcan).

Sometimes his minions need rest and cleansing and so a cleaning tool has been appropriately provided so that their caretaker can groom them and keep them in tip top shape. It wouldn’t be good for BioHazard to have unruly servants that are unable to do their jobs.

BioHazard can’t work while running on empty though, he needs power, energy. He screams for it. (Beeps actually) Luckily for him, he comes equipped with an Advanced Power System (APS) Battery and an Advanced Power System (APS) Fast Charger. There’s nothing better than a 3 hr rest for this ruler…Roomba.

You know, normally, I wouldn’t wish to be like an evil overlord in any way shape or manner, but BioHazard came with a liver, I mean filter. We all need something to filter out the bad stuff we don’t want running through our systems. But unlike us, the Roomba’s filters are replaceable. Little, lethal, legendary, and lives forever (with the proper care).

When BioHazard the Roomba isn’t out sweeping his territory for rebels that refuse to obey the commands of his land he dwells in his stronghold that hangs on the wall.

It was a whole lot of fun for me to play with my Roomba and see what it was capable of doing and what I could make it do. What was most exciting for me, although I’ve not been able to explore this realm is the creative license that came with it:

This robot contains an electronic and software interface that allows you to control or modify its behavior, and remotely monitor its sensors. For software programmers interested in giving Roomba new functionality we encourage you to do so.

BioHazard will become an even more powerful and great robot/Roomba than he currently is. A world of possibilities awaits him and I. But until I get the time to sit down and “play” with him, he can clean my floors. Beep his little songs. Blink blue and spin in circles when he finds a particularly “dirt”y spot. Put his little bottom up in the air when he gets too close to an edge off of which he might descend into the unknown. And longingly wait for me as he sits in the wall mount waiting for me to dawn my white lab coat, plug him into the computer, and give him new functionality.