Traveling Thoughts

So, I’ve done some crazy things in my time, piercings, tattoos, jumping out of planes. I’m not skeered of much.

I am skeered of getting my gums grafted, which I’m having done on Wednesday. I’ve only put it off for 3 years and I can’t wait any longer or I’m endangering my teeth roots. I thought I was ok with this, I thought that with the new periodontist that wasn’t going to scrape the gum off the roof of my mouth but instead take it from behind the tooth and wrap it around that I’d be in a better state of being.

I was in a better state of being, I have been for the last couple of months, I was cool with it. Now though, now that it’s 2 days away, I’m freakin skeered, this is my mouth, I’m not going to be able to drink from straws for a couple months, I have to say good bye to my electronic toothbrush for that whole side of my mouth on the top row, solids, I don’t know when I’m going to be able to eat solids, I don’t know how long it’s going to take it to heal, it’s like a month for a normal healthy person that doesn’t have a autoimmune disease.

I really don’t want to go get this done. Just thinking about it makes me want to cry, I can’t even imagine what it’s going to be like Wednesday afternoon, they’re gonna have to give me a tranquilizer. I’m gonna be sitting in the chair like a big baby, kicking and screaming and crying.

And the worse thing about it, they can’t graft the gum around both teeth at the same time, I have to get one done now and one done later…I think I’m pre-traumatized.

*hangs head and pouts*