Traveling Thoughts

Christmas has officially died this year. It’s just dead…completely dead…it fell apart back in September when we had to draw names and spend $50 on the person we drew with the list received on Nov 1. What kind of Christmas is that? I should’ve known then that Christmas was going to be a dud this year. And worse off, I agreed to it (as I’ve gotten reminded everytime I’ve said “Christmas sucks” this past week). I don’t even know where to begin.

I’d like to blame it on my sister and brother in law that can’t afford to buy Christmas for everyone, but that brings back how I was so deeply offended that I got a $5 giftcard from them (I would’ve been less offended had I not received anything) last year for Christmas. So in an effort to help the poor, we drew names and we had to spend at least $50 on the person whose name we drew and they had to give us a list by Nov 1. My sister at our Nov 1 tribal council when lists got turned in wanted the limit to be raised to $100 (because she had found stuff that she wanted that was more than $50), her movement was vetoed and she was reminded that we were doing this because of her and her husband.

By this time I had already thrown a fit over the list thing. There were family members that were disgruntled that they had to buy off the list, what if they wanted to get the person something they thought they’d like. I was perturbed by this, because hello, 1) you guys can’t afford what I want 2) I made a list of stuff that you can afford and I can’t buy it until after Christmas in the event that you buy/don’t buy it for me 3) if you want to help me out, giftcards work wonderfully, here’s my list (yes, I handed in a list with giftcards to 5 different places, any of them being a place I could get cycling gear from).

Of course, *rolls eyes* it’s not all about me right…oh but it is…I finagled my way into getting dad’s name who had handed in the Cabela’s catalog with pages dogeared for his list, each page have sweaters on it that hey had wanted circled. We already know this part of the story though, he’s not getting sweaters from me, and I didn’t spend $50 on him either. He’s getting a computer, and it’s a properly attired computer (read: I spent over $1200 on my loving father, stay tuned to hear how that went over tomorrow), it wasn’t on his list, but he wanted it, so he’s getting it, because Christmas used to be, in some small way, about getting what you wanted, at least one thing on that Christmas list, at least, it was like that when I was a little kid.

Ok, so I’m pissed over the gift thing…we all understand that…but I’m also pissed about when I get to open my gift (not plural, just 1 gift). Somehow, in adding an aunt to the mix that didn’t used to live in my neighborhood (or state for that matter) but now does, gift opening got moved from morning to afternoon. I’m sorry, I don’t care if I’m an adult now, but this is crap, for 26 years we’ve been opening gifts after breakfast and now I have to wait till after lunch…it’s just not fair…not at all…plus opening gifts in the afternoon interferes with my “go to a movie in the afternoon” tradition, now I have to wait till evening to go to a movie…it just throws me off and it’s just not cool…

I’m declaring Christmas dead. It’s no fun anymore, it’s all about politics…family politics…even up until last year, I was still getting gifts from Santa. My dad was all cute, he’d label my one big gift from “Mr and Mrs Claus”. This year there is no one “big” gift from my parents, because amidst all this stuff going on, we weren’t allowed to buy for anyone else other than the person on our card that we drew…it just sucks…I don’t like Christmas anymore…all that it was…it isn’t anymore…

I can remember Christmas Eve’s when we’d all go to church and my sisters and I, we’d all be in our special Christmas dresses that were bought just for Christmas (or when I got to a point where I refused to wear a dress, I’d get a new pair of slacks and a nice button up or sweater). I can remember when after dinner at about 8 or so we’d all pile into the car (us kids in our pajamas) and we’d go look at houses all lit up with Christmas lights. I can remember when we were little and we were far to excited to sleep in on Christmas mornings, we weren’t allowed out of our rooms until 7 and God forbid if we woke anyone up, so we’d open our doors, and grab our stockings which were hanging on our door knobs and we’d go through all the goodies and play with the small toys that we got until we could come out of our rooms…I can remember when there used to be so many presents that they’d flow halfway out into the living room.

And I realize that I’m an adult now, and that I’m the only kid still at home, but is it so necessary for all of to be gone? It just makes me so sad…I’ve known for many years now that mom and dad aren’t santa, but can I seriously not have that one gift from santa anymore? Can I really not buy for other people…I may be irresponsible with my money but I’m not poor, do I have to be limited to only buying for 1 person…it’s just not fair…and thus, Christmas sucks, and it has died…