Traveling Thoughts

I’ve become quite the little porker lately. One reason is because I can’t exercise (thank the stitches in the derriere). The second reason is, I’ve been eating out a lot (because I’m too lazy to go grocery shopping) and eating out means eating unhealthy.

I’m gaining weight that I wouldn’t normally see if I could work out (not that I would work out, but if I was able to work out, I’d be more active than I am now, like walking and biking and stuff that’s just not happening for me right now) and it’s pissing me off. I usually don’t ever have to deal with the “tight” clothes feeling. I hate that feeling and I’ll be damned if I’m going to go buy a larger size in clothes (I have an issue with the numbers on the clothes I have and I’m not going to add to it).

So, to get back on topic, I went grocery shopping tonight (for healthy food) and after an hour in WalMart picking my foods carefully (fruit is hard to pick out, how does one know if a cantaloupe is good or not?) I walked out with 36 items and $78 poorer.

Why can’t we be rewarded for healthy eating? In a world where weight is a concern why is it cheaper for us to buy the crap that makes us so unhealthy? Shouldn’t cheeseburgers cost more than the chicken salad sandwich? Shouldn’t the sugary cereals cost more than the wholesome cereals? Shouldn’t the financial punishment be seen from the unhealthy eating side.

Why should I have to choose between cost and health? When I was eating out it was costing me less than $5 a day (breakfast and lunch and snacks) to eat. The $79 I spent tonight is for one week of breakfast and lunch and snacks, that’s like $13 a day. *shakes head* it’s just not acceptable…what do they want for us to do in this world when being healthy costs us far more than being unhealthy?

Christmas has officially died this year. It’s just dead…completely dead…it fell apart back in September when we had to draw names and spend $50 on the person we drew with the list received on Nov 1. What kind of Christmas is that? I should’ve known then that Christmas was going to be a dud this year. And worse off, I agreed to it (as I’ve gotten reminded everytime I’ve said “Christmas sucks” this past week). I don’t even know where to begin.

I’d like to blame it on my sister and brother in law that can’t afford to buy Christmas for everyone, but that brings back how I was so deeply offended that I got a $5 giftcard from them (I would’ve been less offended had I not received anything) last year for Christmas. So in an effort to help the poor, we drew names and we had to spend at least $50 on the person whose name we drew and they had to give us a list by Nov 1. My sister at our Nov 1 tribal council when lists got turned in wanted the limit to be raised to $100 (because she had found stuff that she wanted that was more than $50), her movement was vetoed and she was reminded that we were doing this because of her and her husband.

By this time I had already thrown a fit over the list thing. There were family members that were disgruntled that they had to buy off the list, what if they wanted to get the person something they thought they’d like. I was perturbed by this, because hello, 1) you guys can’t afford what I want 2) I made a list of stuff that you can afford and I can’t buy it until after Christmas in the event that you buy/don’t buy it for me 3) if you want to help me out, giftcards work wonderfully, here’s my list (yes, I handed in a list with giftcards to 5 different places, any of them being a place I could get cycling gear from).

Of course, *rolls eyes* it’s not all about me right…oh but it is…I finagled my way into getting dad’s name who had handed in the Cabela’s catalog with pages dogeared for his list, each page have sweaters on it that hey had wanted circled. We already know this part of the story though, he’s not getting sweaters from me, and I didn’t spend $50 on him either. He’s getting a computer, and it’s a properly attired computer (read: I spent over $1200 on my loving father, stay tuned to hear how that went over tomorrow), it wasn’t on his list, but he wanted it, so he’s getting it, because Christmas used to be, in some small way, about getting what you wanted, at least one thing on that Christmas list, at least, it was like that when I was a little kid.

Ok, so I’m pissed over the gift thing…we all understand that…but I’m also pissed about when I get to open my gift (not plural, just 1 gift). Somehow, in adding an aunt to the mix that didn’t used to live in my neighborhood (or state for that matter) but now does, gift opening got moved from morning to afternoon. I’m sorry, I don’t care if I’m an adult now, but this is crap, for 26 years we’ve been opening gifts after breakfast and now I have to wait till after lunch…it’s just not fair…not at all…plus opening gifts in the afternoon interferes with my “go to a movie in the afternoon” tradition, now I have to wait till evening to go to a movie…it just throws me off and it’s just not cool…

I’m declaring Christmas dead. It’s no fun anymore, it’s all about politics…family politics…even up until last year, I was still getting gifts from Santa. My dad was all cute, he’d label my one big gift from “Mr and Mrs Claus”. This year there is no one “big” gift from my parents, because amidst all this stuff going on, we weren’t allowed to buy for anyone else other than the person on our card that we drew…it just sucks…I don’t like Christmas anymore…all that it was…it isn’t anymore…

I can remember Christmas Eve’s when we’d all go to church and my sisters and I, we’d all be in our special Christmas dresses that were bought just for Christmas (or when I got to a point where I refused to wear a dress, I’d get a new pair of slacks and a nice button up or sweater). I can remember when after dinner at about 8 or so we’d all pile into the car (us kids in our pajamas) and we’d go look at houses all lit up with Christmas lights. I can remember when we were little and we were far to excited to sleep in on Christmas mornings, we weren’t allowed out of our rooms until 7 and God forbid if we woke anyone up, so we’d open our doors, and grab our stockings which were hanging on our door knobs and we’d go through all the goodies and play with the small toys that we got until we could come out of our rooms…I can remember when there used to be so many presents that they’d flow halfway out into the living room.

And I realize that I’m an adult now, and that I’m the only kid still at home, but is it so necessary for all of to be gone? It just makes me so sad…I’ve known for many years now that mom and dad aren’t santa, but can I seriously not have that one gift from santa anymore? Can I really not buy for other people…I may be irresponsible with my money but I’m not poor, do I have to be limited to only buying for 1 person…it’s just not fair…and thus, Christmas sucks, and it has died…

There was a post made over on TechCrunch today concerning the recent drops in Google PR and it’s relation to PPP and how posties are freaking out about it, blah blah blah. (see: PayPerPost Users Freaking Out Over Google PageRank Nuke)

I’m kindof on the wall between the good and evil of this post.

For starters, this post has got posties with panties now in a twist. But that doesn’t bother me as much as the fact that they’re complaining about Arrington and how evil he is evil and how he’s using posties as an example, but yet do we take a moment to think that we the posties are the ones fueling his fire. There’s not many threads in the General Discussion area of the PPP boards that can’t be turned into blog fodder, and actually 90% could be combined because they’re all the same thing. He can only say what he’s saying because in general all that happens on the PPP boards is bitching a moaning. Rarely are we jumping for joy on those forums, they’re (read: the forums) a depressing piece of work.

Nothing has been done since the drops in PR except bitching and moaning, crying, complaining, and oh woe is me. PR is what it is, it’s Google’s beast and since none of us are Google what happens happens. We can sit and bitch and moan about how PR is affecting what we do or don’t make (read: $$$) or we can “suck up and deal” (thanks Cass) and go on with our normal lives writing on our blogs. Our blogs weren’t born for money they were born for us, for us to write, for us to express opinions, for us to share. If that’s not the case, then we are no different than what Arrington is making us out to be.

In fact, we are what he’s making us out to be, we are the “shills” he’s calling us. How many times are we writing about products because of the cash and not because it’s something we’ve used or would ever use. It happens on all of our blogs. You can’t get pissed off at him because he’s speaking the truth, he’s just speaking it in an unfavorable light. He’s just speaking the “bad” truth instead of the “good” truth (if that’s even the proper thing to say).

I will point out that he didn’t directly call anyone “pathetic” so much as he pointed out that our comments are “pathetic” which I will agree with him on. What we as bloggers are experiencing with PPP is no different than what we’d be experiencing out there with a (so-called) real job. Things change, they always have, they always will, jobs are threatened daily and there is no such thing as job security. The question becomes, do you stay at the job no matter how much or how little you make because you love it or do you leave for a “better” job which pays higher and has better benefits.

And just because I’m on a roll, I need to throw in a couple words about RealRank…posties have done nothing but complain about that since it came into place, oh my RR is zero (well do you have traffic), oh my RR changes daily (yeah, that’s the realness of it), well there’s this problem and that problem, blah blah blah…Are we going to continue being his fodder or are we as workers for IZEA going to start spreading the good that this company is doing instead of painting it in a bad light. Because that’s what we’re doing on a daily basis.

Instead of proving Arrington right, we need to prove him wrong, and the only way to do that is to stop bitching and moaning, to not worry about our so called impending death because of PR, to roll with the punches as they come, and continue what we do best, blog.

I was totally not impressed to get an IM this morning from a certain somebody that was like “hey, there’s another travelingthoughts out there” It took me over 2 months to come up with a name that was mine all mine and now someone else is using it for their blog. That’s completely unacceptable. I should be the only travelingthoughts that shows up when travelingthoughts is googled. You google “travelingthoughts” and you should see, courtney, courtney courtney, not pastor rick.

My web presence is being encroached upon. And I will not have it encroached upon. I have sprayed my territory and it’s not allowed to be remarked by some guy.

*takes a deep breath*

I’m declaring war, here and now, and should further encroachment occur, I will…think of something malicious and completely beyond evil that launches him from the interwebs into outer space and out of my domain forever.

GRRRRRRRRRRRR…

There have been a few things I’ve been avoiding this past week. I’ve been avoiding the PPP boards because over the past couple of months or so all it’s turned into is Google and PR talk and people whining and complaining about it because it effects how much money they’re making, or not making in their cases. I’ve also avoided writing about it, but I’m learning that if I don’t write, it starts to piss me off more than if I had confronted it. So I’m going to take the time and this post to confront my own issues with how I feel about Google and PR…

I.don’t! I don’t feel a thing. I don’t write for Google, I don’t write for PR, I write for me (because in case you haven’t noticed, it’s all about me, most of the time).

The other night when so many people I knew were freaking out about their PR hitting 0, I was like, whatever mine is still 2. The next morning I get an IM from a friend, “you’re PR is 0″ and your point is what?!?! how many times to I have to say that I don’t freakin’ care?

I have an opinion, of course, I always have an opinion. 90% of the people out there freaking out about their PR hitting rock bottom, wouldn’t have any clue what PR was if how much money they’re making, or not making, wasn’t tied to that PR. I have a friend with a huge site, a huge community, and his PR dropped, he’s been focused on PR for years because it drove what he was making each month off his site. I haven’t heard one person, that isn’t making money on their sites complain about their PR (of course, maybe I’m not reading the right blogs/forums to hear all about the non-money making blogs that had their PR stripped from them, actually, I should qualify this, I’ve heard about the non-money making blogs that got hit, but not from their owners).

I should probably disclose that I’m not using my money that I make from blogging to pay bills, but milk on the table, diapers on my children’s bottoms. Maybe that’s why I don’t care, I don’t know, I just don’t care. Actually, I do know, I know I don’t care because of the following reasons:

just because my PR hit rock bottom doesn’t mean I’m going to stop blogging
just because my PR hit rock bottom doesn’t mean that I’m going to loose the readers I have
just because my PR hit rock bottom doesn’t mean that people are going to stop telling other people about my blog

nothing has changed, other than the fact that my PR hit rock bottom, and I really wish others would see that. Their PR hitting rock bottom is not the end of the world. They took a job, their job being paid to blog, there is no job security, not ever, not in any job, the security they had in that job just dropped, so what do you do, do you lie belly down on the floor kicking and screaming, or do you get up, stop whinin’, and do what you gotta do to get food on the table. Why, I ask, have you let your blog be all about PR and the money you make, instead of about you, it started with you, why are you letting PR get in the way, you’re wasting more time and energy screaming about the injustice of Google than you are blogging, why are you doing that? Return to your roots and get back to bloggin’.

That’s how I feel about Google and PR. And when they attack my SERPs, all I have to say about that is that there are other search engines that will bring me traffic, it’s not the end of the world now, and it won’t be the end of the world later…now if you’ll excuse me, I’m considering this topic closed, as I have other things to blog about…

Oh wait, one more thing, PS if you will. Boycotting Google isn’t going to work, because other than Google’s seemingly random PR equation, there’s nothing wrong with them. Their search engine is good, there’s google mail, google 411, google reader, everything I need all in one place with google, google maps, google earth…it’s like asking people to not go buy gas on a given day, it doesn’t work…

I’ve got people pissed off at me because I’m not screaming excitement through IM about my weekend in Vegas. This pisses me off, and I have to get this out before I go on to explain (in depth, mind you) about the wonderful time I had in Vegas and all that I did. I shouldn’t have to come home from a vacation, and immediately get on IM and start typing to people what I did while I was on vacation. And they shouldn’t get offended that I feel that way. I went to Vegas, the city that never sleeps, and I slept, a little, but not nearly enough for me to get home and feel like typing out all that I did, and I have a list of things I need to write. I did type that out last night. It’s an extensive list, a lot of things went on and I have a lot to say and I have a lot of pictures to put into my stories of what I had to say, I can’t sum it up into a few sentences on IM and I have no desire to take the time to
1) type my story into IM
2) link to images (that btw i haven’t even uploaded yet)
and 3) have to write it out onto my blog so that it makes sense and isn’t a huge IM conversation

I don’t think anyone has the right to be pissed about that…I however, have a right to be pissed off at them for being pissed off at me for not spilling all the beans…

Now, I have stuff to write about, so if you’ll excuse me…

For the first time ever, I started watching Dancing with the Stars this season. I guess I was drawn to it because Jane Seymour was one of the stars and I had watched her in Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman when I was younger (Every Saturday night that’s what I did until it was no more). And all season, I thought that Cheetah Girl (that’s what I call Sabrina, cause I can’t always remember her name) was the best. And last night, my heart broke. I had been thinking that AMC star Cameron Matheson needed to be voted off for some time now (even though he’s been improving). But Cheetah girl, what is wrong with America. She could dance. I mean…grrrrr…it’s just so sad. It just goes to show that obviously America’s voting pulls more weight than the judges scores…and even though Carrie Ann Inaba has no history in ballroom dancing (she’s got pop dancing history) at least she knows that she’s looking for in dancers. I have no history with dancing, I’ve never taken a dance class in my life, but I can tell a dancer from a non-dancer and Cheetah girl could dance. I guess I’m kindof outraged…outraged and sad…totally emo…Now it’s up to Scary Spice and Helio in my opinion…

It’s probably not so much as stupid clothes as it is stupid human that somehow grew out of them, but this morning was awful. It’s cooling down here and I wanted to wear a button up shirt. Last fall I had spent a grand on new shirts and pants, just because I could. If there was any direction my body was going to head, it was going to be into that of a smaller size, not me needing to go into a bigger size. But ever since I got out of the hospital, I’ve had trouble fitting into my clothes, and it sucks. They’re tight and I’m uncomfortable. I’m still bike riding, I shouldn’t be having problems fitting into my clothes, it really just shouldn’t be an issue. But it is. My pants are tight, my button up shirt was busting at the buttons and I was not so impressed.

I don’t want to have to go buy new clothes. I definitely don’t want to have to go buy clothes that are a bigger size. It totally sucks. It so sucks.

I take it back, something has changed, I’ve not been to kick boxing since my visit to the hospital two months ago. Even so it’s not like I’m pigging out on crap food and sitting on the couch, I go for walks while I’m at work, I get out on my bike, not as much as I was, but I do get out…It just sucks…I don’t know what else to say…It just sucks…

When I learned to cut my nails as a small child, I learned to do it over a trashcan. It was unacceptable for my fingernails to be anywhere but on my fingers or in the trashcan. The floor, the table, my mouth, it was just unheard of. It doesn’t happen.

A couple months ago I found a finger nail on my desk, it wasn’t mine, it was long and yellow. Even if my nails were yellow (which they aren’t) they’re never long (I cut them several times a week because if they get long enough for me to bite on them, I will). It was disgusting, I couldn’t believe that there was someone elses fingernail on my desk (and it could’ve been anybody’s because I sat at the front desk).

Today I found out where that nail came from. It came from a co-worker (obviously) but a particular one. She was standing at another co-worker’s desk today clipping her nails. As if it weren’t annoying enough that you could hear the clip clip clip of the clippers as she clipped she was leaning against the desk and clipping her nails, and they were flying everywhere. I just had to walk away because if I hadn’t I would have told her how not cool it was to clip her nails at someone elses desk and at a minimum not over a trashcan.

It’s so disgusting. When she left we had to break out the clorox wipes to clean up the nails that were on my buddies desk. And we had to pick up the nails off the floor. I mean, come on, where are your basic thinking skills. If you gotta clip your nails at work at a minimum do it over a trashcan. Seriously.