Traveling Thoughts

2 years ago today I wrote my first post here on Traveling Thoughts.

For those of you that don’t know, which should be the majority of you since I’ve never written about it, Traveling Thoughts came about after a long series of different blogs. I started blogging back in 1997 on Geocities when I actually had to upload page after page and update my links on every page with each new entry. Life was fun back then, I had one of those long addresses that I can’t even remember.

Somewhere along the way came blogger, and I had a blogger account for some time. When I finally got my first domain, it was GeekyGecko.com. I wanted an animal in my domain name and blue rhino was taken. I was a bit of a geek, ok, I was a full blown geek, and I had a thing for geckos, so Geeky Gecko was born.

Uploaded with plasq’s Skitch!

GeekyGecko didn’t quite make it two years, it went from April 2002 to January 2004. I decided I needed to upgrade to a more [some word here, not sure what word] domain. Courtroversy was brought into the world in March 2004.

Courtroversy was fed by my frustrations in the world, my angry thoughts, how everything was done wrong (meaning it wasn’t done my way), etc, if it was bad in my life (according to me) Courtroversy was fueled by it. When version 2 came out, the splash page said this:

“Welcome to courtroversy.com, where everything (or most everything) is a debate, one that only shows my views…or yours if you decide to comment on what i have to say…”

Yes, I said splash page. Courtroversy survived less than a year, March 2004 - September 2005. I then took a hiatus from blogging.

In 2006 when I decided that I needed to start blogging again and I wanted my own domain that would stick this time and that I wouldn’t become tired of my brain was put to the test. I tossed around ideas with Markus for a week or so because I didn’t want a lame domain like my name, CourtneyBenefiel.com (I’m not a fan of the Benefiel name and one day it will change and so my existence on the internet couldn’t be defined by that name). One day out of now where, I was like “I got it, Traveling Thoughts!”. Traveling Thoughts fit because my brain was always on the run, anything and everything would send my brain in any direction other than that in which it was supposed to go.

I can’t say that I’ve been faithful to my blog in the last 2 years. I can tell where something was going on, the entries became less. In recent months the entries have been considerably less than they were in the later months of 2007. You can tell where my traveling season picked up, but unless you talk to me in some other fashion beyond this blog you wouldn’t know that I’ve been traveling.

Traveling season started in February. The weekend of Feb 24th I was in Orlando, FL. The weekend of March 1 I was in Denver, CO. The weekend of March 15 I was in Phoenix, AZ. Next weekend I’ll be in Las Vegas, NV. All that traveling has been done in the name of Tour de Cures in one form or another and while I haven’t been writing here faithfully, I have been writing fairly faithfully on RideToRemedy.com my cycling/diabetes blog.

I’m about to contradict something that I said the other day simply because in taking a trip down memory lane tonight with my other blogs, I realized that if I don’t write about the trips I take and whatnot on my blog, those memories are going to become nothing but a one day forgotten piece of my past. With that thought in mind, in 2008, the 3rd year of Traveling Thoughts, I am reforming my thoughts from last week and saying that if I go on a trip, and I do something beyond ride my bike, I will blog about it (take note that I can once again change my mind if I so choose to do so).

Two weeks ago the perfect job approached me, it caught me off guard, I wasn’t looking for it, but when it came to me, I was like, sweet, I’m moving. When I got home from the location of the perfect job I started taking care of everything I needed to do to make sure I was in a prime position for when I had a “hard” interview (as opposed to the soft one I had when I was there) . But then 3 days later I went to Denver, and Denver ruined me for the perfect job.

When I was in Denver, my Dad made a comment that 1) I agreed with and 2) I actually thought was smart (and being a child, no comment a parent ever makes is smart, that’s just common knowledge, they can’t say anything right, but he did).

He said:

“Do me a favor while you’re in Denver, bring home a newspaper.”

I was kindof confused at this but I stayed silent and he continued.

“You can start getting an idea of what the cost of living is up there and what kind of jobs are available”

I was really confused at this because I had already pronounced that I was moving and that I was going to work at the perfect job. But again, I was silent and he continued.

“Think of all the places you’ve gone in the last year and think of where you were happiest. You can’t move somewhere just because of the perfect job, you have to move somewhere that will help you grow in all that you want to do in life.”

To this I began to retort: “But the people I’d be working with are great, I’d be learning a lot, I’d really love my job…”

I got stopped somewhere in midthought and he says:

“There is more to life than just a job and I realize you’re at your job more hours than most people as that’s the industry you’re in, and that you spend more than a normal amount of time with the people you’re working with, but what are you going to do when you leave work for the night, or the weekends?”

To this I really didn’t have an answer, I could’ve been funny: well I’d go to my home in the Swiss Family Robinson Treehouse at Disney World. Somewhere in my head I knew that telling him I was going to live at Disney World in my spare time would not be a smart move so I didn’t say a word. I just sat and thought.

I had to admit he was right, and he was right from the perspective of where the perfect job was, I wasn’t going to be happy, biking would be practically a non-sport because there would be no challenge to it in the area where I’d be living. I’d have a harder time training for rides in other states because of the lack of hills and lack of elevation. Traveling to the rides would be a harder task, I’d have to hop on a plane for every ride and that would become more costly than it already is.

I was all ready to pick up and move for the perfect job, and being as young as I am it wouldn’t have mattered what else happened, because I was going to be happy at work. But dad had a point, what does happiness at work matter if you’re not happy outside of work?

I walked away from the perfect job. I walked away from he opportunity that I have been waiting for. I walked away from the opportunity to be able to work with great people in a fun environment. I walked away from knowing that I was constantly going to be challenged and learning new things. I walked away from a job where if I programmed a piece of shit it wouldn’t just get taken away from me and get passed to someone else to fix but a discussion would be had as to what was wrong and how I could’ve done it better.

I walked away from the perfect job and one day, I may regret this decision. But today, dad was right, I need to be true to more than just the dream of having the perfect job, I need to be true to all my other dreams, and right now, that number one dream is helping to find a cure for diabetes, and I’m doing that through my bike rides, and I need to be in a place where I can train and no matter where I then travel, I’ll be prepared for the next ride.

I walked away from the perfect job.

Over the last week and a half people have been asking me where my entry for the Blog Battle Royale Charity Edition was and why it didn’t get posted, did they miss it, was it posted on another blog.

The week before it was due I was preparing for my trip to Orlando FL to ride in the Tour de Cure out there. It’s my participation in the Tour de Cure that drives my charity blog Ride To Remedy. Instead of writing about my blog and the cause it supports I was out there participating in it (among other things) and that is why my post didn’t get posted.

When I got back I felt that the point was moot to put up the post and so I didn’t. However, because of the recent questioning here is my post:

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Imagine that one thing you just have to do, be it traveling somewhere, meeting some superstar (actor/actress, musician, athlete artist, writer, etc), participating in some competition where you win (like a sporting event, American Idol, Dancing with the Stars, etc), go ahead and pick that one thing, that one thing that you really only feel that you have to do it once, once will be enough, once will take care of your craving to do that one thing, once is all it’s going to take for you to be content, doing it just once will give you the power to say, I did it and I don’t need to do it again…do you have that one thing in your mind? If not get it there, because we’re moving fast…do you have it now? Okay, good! Let’s Go!

Now imagine that you get to do that one thing. You’ve traveled back in time and met John Lennon. You’ve jumped from a helicopter and skied down the mountain of your choice. You’ve been to the deepest trench in the ocean and seen creatures that we can only dream about. You’ve made one revolution around the earth in a space shuttle (that you built in your back yard). You’ve traveled to some far away country that’s only a spec on our maps and met George of the Jungle. Whew, that was exciting! Are you back yet? Come on, pull yourself together, you can reminisce and blog about your journey later, I’m not done with you yet.

So you’ve just gotten back from that one thing that you just had to do once. But, now that you’ve done it, you can’t wait to do it again can you? It was so exhilarating, exciting, mind blowing, inspiring, thrilling and breathtaking (do I need to continue?) that you can’t wait until your next opportunity to do it again. Now imagine that that one thing that you had to do just once and now can’t wait to do it again, was a charity event. That is where my story really begins.

It’s not the background information that really matters, it’s what happened after that “one thing”.

My one thing was to ride 35 miles in a Tour de Cure for diabetes. When I set out to ride in this “one” ride, I really had no intentions of riding in any other rides. But all it took was once. One ride and I was hooked. When I got done with my first ride in Long Beach, CA, I was exhausted and really couldn’t thing of much more than a nice cool shower. After my gear was put away and I was all cleaned up, I started thinking about what I had just done.

I had driven 12 hours to ride my bike 35 miles in a state I didn’t even live in. I raised $1110 for diabetes, a disease that I have had for over 15 years but also a disease that effects over 20.8 million people in the US. It was the first thing I have ever done since getting diabetes to help the cause instead of just complain about it. It made me happy. It was at that moment that I decided that once was not enough, I wanted to ride in a Tour de Cure in every state.

When I got home I was quick to register for my next ride. I also decided that I needed a blog dedicated to my cause. RideToRemedy.com was born. Having Ride to Remedy gave me a place to track my training progress, track how I was doing in meeting my goal of riding in all 50 states, give my thoughts on the rides I had ridden in, talk about the new gear that I was getting, and to talk about my diabetes, it became an outlet for me a a place where people (friends, family, sponsors) could see what I was doing, see my progress in meeting my goals (the overall goal and the individual ride goals), learn about my life with diabetes and help support me.

Last year I rode in 3 rides. It started in Long Beach, CA.

I had the best ride I have ever done in Longmont, CO.

And I ended my season with a ride in Ft. Worth, TX.

As I say each time I write a page for whichever ride I’m preparing for:

I ride for myself, for my family members with diabetes, for all my friends with diabetes, for those with diabetes that I don’t know, and for those that will be saved from the torment of diabetes when a cure is found. And I will continue to ride until that cure is found, whether it be before I’ve ridden in all 50 states or long afterwards.

Ride To Remedy powers my rides because it gives me a place to point the sponsors to. It gives them a place to read about the cause they’re funding. It gives them a reason to sponsor me ride after ride.

Ride To Remedy gives me a way to network with other diabetics that are doing the same thing and it helps me to meet new people as I travel from state to state to participate in these rides.

Ride To Remedy holds me accountable for what I’ve set out to do. If days go by with without me posting people begin to send emails questioning where I’ve gone, what’s happening, am I still riding, is everything okay with my diabetes.

Ride To Remedy gives me a reason to ride. The more diabetics that read it and the more diabetics that respond to it, gives me a more personal reason to ride. When I rode in Ft. Worth, TX I tried to have a name for every mile I was riding and that’s really the only reason I made it through that ride. Even though I know that I ride for over 20 million people, to have names and faces gives me a more personal reason to ride.

So, if you decide to keep up with all that’s going on at Ride To Remedy, if you notice that I’m riding in a city near you, won’t you ride with with me? (Chances are you know someone with diabetes or pre-diabetes, your ride, would be well worth it.)

Things have been rough around here for the last month. January, well January was a great month, daily posts, it was a good month, but then February came and with February, the posts dropped off, you can say that you’ve been neglected.

It’s ok, I won’t argue with you, I won’t contradict you, in fact, I’ll even go as far as to agree with you, neglected you have been. But you’ve been neglected for a good reason, it’s not just random neglection, and it’s not neglection without initial thought, no, you see, it was well planned out and thought out.

It began 8 months ago, it was in June of 2007, I began seeing someone else in addition to you.

You see, for the last 8 months I’ve been seeing someone else in addition to you, and at first I was very excited to be seeing this someone else. But then things got tedious and I took a break from them for a couple months, but then February came. And in February, they began changing, changing for the good, what was once tedious was going to be tedious no longer.

The problem? You want to know what the problem is? Well, it’s simple, you weren’t exactly meeting all my needs, I needed another outlet for something you just really don’t understand…well, ok, it’s my fault that you don’t understand but even if I tried to fully explain it, you wouldn’t understand…it’s difficult.

I’d say that it’s not you, it’s me, but the truth is, it’s not all me, it’s partly you. But since I’m being honest, I’ll tell you who it is I’m cheating on you with.

Their facelift isn’t quite 100% complete and it’s not that I was ever ashamed of their face, but it wasn’t working out to well for me, it needed to change. And changed it has, I’ve helped it immensely, of course, I was the one that made it difficult in the first place, but that’s besides the point.

So, here’s the secret, I’ve been cheating on you with Ride to Remedy. Ride to Remedy fills that gap that you couldn’t. It’s a long story and not one for this evening, maybe some other time we can discuss it.

Well, ok, I’ll fill you in a little. Ride to Remedy is my diabetes blog, and my cycling blog, since the two go hand in hand. Yeah, I know you originally held all my cycling thoughts/memories, but you just weren’t adequate enough. I needed somewhere that could hold so much more than you as a mini site could handle. You have to understand, we’re talking about tons of entries about diabetes, cycling for diabetes, riding in Tour de Cures across the country. You just weren’t meant for that, you were meant for everything else. So, you’re going to have to share me.

Last night my family grew by one. My mom came home with a new little puppy. She’s 8 weeks old today. She’s a Lhasapoo and she’s very cute. Her name is Paisley.

She’s very lovable and cuddly and just wants to be around people which is great for my mom. Mom’s had a rough run with dogs ever since she abandoned Dominic (my/dad’s toy poodle who used to be mom’s toy poodle) because she had to go to Florida for something like six weeks a couple years ago to take care of my dying grandfather. When mom got back Dominic didn’t like her anymore. He has separation anxiety issues and she was always at home with him during the days but then she wasn’t and he didn’t take to that too well. I think it broke his little heart and he turned on mom. So mom has been affectionate loving pet-less for the past couple of years.

But now she has Paisley, hopefully a dog she’ll train to be just as she wants: doesn’t whine when she’s in the car, isn’t a micro-manager, basically all the things Dominic isn’t (Dominic is a very good dog, mom just has problems with him now that he has problems with her).

Dominic isn’t taking things too well, his territory has been invaded, he’s been the only dog in the house for 2 years and now he has to share. Paisley just wants to make friends with him and so she chases him around (she’s almost as big as he is and will eventually outgrow him). Dominic is being a little chicken shit and is having problems even approaching her. He’s jealous, I can since that much, so jealous in fact that he went to mom to get petted while she was holding Paisley. He’s heart broken, his eyes tell me that, he was very upset when I petted her, like I had just broke my loyalty to him or something. I’ve got to be careful because I don’t want to drive him away as he’s been my buddy for 12 years.

It is a happy addition to, perhaps the happiest thing about it is that dad said that since mom got a small dog that if down the line I did want to get a chocolate labradoo I could :)

Yesterday, i went to get my tail removed. I lie on the table for an hour with my butt checks numb, feeling nothing while they cut me and sliced me and dug stuff out of me, scar tissue, a little fat, the cyst, the roots of the cyst. All the while, I was wide awake, talking to them and watching Ratatouille on my iPod Touch. They were discussing about how it wasn’t a pilonidal cyst but it was some other kind of cyst but I can’t remember what they called it. It was some unmemorable name. They took out quite a bit, and it’s been 24 hours and already, even though there’s some pain it’s far less than what I’ve been feeling for the past 3 weeks.

When they were all done they were like “you wanna take it with you” and I was like “no” and the doctor was like “well, we can at least show it to you” and so he hands it to me and I was like “cool, can I take it with me” and he says “I knew you’d want to, let me tape it up and you can have it” So I got it, and I took it home, and now I’m sharing it with you.

It’s gross, I know, but it’s what they cut out of me.

Colleen who is so good at blurting out anything and everything on her blog is not telling anybody where’s she’s going for her next trip. I was initially bummed about that because I read her blog and what she has to say is typically worth reading. But I got over my bummedness fairly quickly as she announced a contest. The contest wasn’t one of her normal blog about Colleen and get an entry to her contest contests, this one had clues, and I’m all about puzzles and clues. I’m not the greatest at solving them all the time, but I am proud to say that I believe that with today’s clue, I have figured out where Colleen is going (well, the cats thing, I think I had it there but today’s clue helped secure my thoughts). Not that I’m telling you, because it’s top secret, you gotta figure it out yourself.

I’ll tell you the clues I had thus far:

Clue 1
Clue 2
Clue 3
Clue 4
Clue 5
Clue 6

It’s kindof like National Treasure, following the clues to see where she ends up. If you figure it out, you might want to jump on board with her contest because you could win souvenir. Colleen, if you’re reading this, I’d really just like you to mail me a postcard from your destination ;P

Here’s the rules, for the prizes, you can visit her blog:

The Rules

• Check for a new clue (or a link to a clue) to be posted on her blog daily.
• When you think you know where she’s going, just shoot her an email with your guess!
• Subject Line: Where In The World Is Colleen?
• Please do NOT use the comments on her blog to make your guess!
• She’ll compile the correct guesses and do a random drawing (after her return) to select the winners.
• The clues given each day will get progressively easier, so by the end of the contest, the answer will be obvious if you’ve played along!
• Your correct answer, sent to Colleen by email, gives you ONE entry into the drawing for a prize.
• If you’d like to blog about the contest, and link back to her blog, she will give you 10 entries - no correct answer needed! That means you can earn up to 11 entries if you figure out where she’s going and blog about the contest.

It’s fun, so get involved, I enjoyed it, surely you will to :)

Yesterday at work there was a need for diet coke. There’s a need for diet coke daily, and we haven’t had any in the office for quite sometime, because we’re (all three of us that drink diet coke like there were no end to it) too lazy to go shopping and replenish our supply. The last time there were coke (before we drank it all and promptly ran out) I thought the coke faerie had come, turns out the coke faerie was me and I had been the one to refill my fridge…it took 2 days after opening the fridge for us to realize that I had been the one to refill it, but that’s another story…I digress…I do that often, I know…this story is about the need for tail remover…

So The Princess asked if we had any diet coke, I responded “no, but if you write me a list I’ll go to walmart tonight and get some” she took my hand grabbed a pen and wrote the list on my hand, I was giggling because it tickled as she was writing, when I glanced over because she was writing more that “diet coke” I saw “tail-remover”.

Now here’s the thing about my tail, yes, I’m a mutant, yes, I did try to have the tail removed, it’s returned. Are you wondering what the hell I’m talking about? Yes, you may be, let me give you some history:

Part 1: Devolution
Part 2: Pain in the Ass
Part 3: Hurling Fireballs

Did you read it, are you caught up?

NO?!? You need to read it, NOW! Before you go any further…

YES! You may proceed ->

So the damn thing came back, my tail that is, which is actually formally called a pilonidal (pie-la-nye-dal) cyst, which it’s meaning is nest of hair, which is bull hockey, because even though that’s what it means, it’s not been proven that hair causes them and everytime they cut mine open (which is twice if you include today, there’s no hair). But back to my story…I felt it back in October, the thing is, I can have pain and there will be no visible bump, and if you press where I fell the pain, you can’t feel anything either (but I can feel the pain). So I ignored it because I had a bike ride and I couldn’t have surgery to have it removed. The pain went away and of course, that didn’t bother me either. But then on Sunday, this past Sunday, I was in all kinds of pain, almost excruciating…If I pressed on the area, there was only a smallish spot of a bump…Monday, more pain, slightly bigger bump…each day the pain grew, each day the bump grew…and each day my demeanor went further down the drain and I became a larger pain in the ass to those around me…

At work, they were sure I was going to start spitting venom, although I’m still hoping that I get the ability to hurl fireballs, it would suit me much better than spitting venom…I’m not a velociraptor, I am FyreStorm (if you don’t get it, don’t worry, I’m not going to explain it).

So anyways, The Princess wrote “tail-remover” on my hand…can you believe that my Super Wal-mart doesn’t have an isle for mutant supplies and that no where, in the store that has everything else, could I get “tail-remover”.

That’s okay though, I guess, because I had the doctor’s appointment scheduled for today and they were amazed with my tail…It was like an inch in diameter and it stuck out like a quarter of an inch…they were wondering how it was I could drive myself to them, the pain was horrendous, excruciating isn’t even an appropriate word for it anymore, I’m not sure there’s a word out there to explain the pain…

So they tell me that they’re going to cut it open to drain it and that will help with the pain a little. As they’re cutting it open my doctor is talking about the gruesomeness of Sweeny Todd and he’s like all impressed with the puss that is draining from my now sliced open tail. I guess there was like a teaspoon of it, I find it gross but the relief of having it cut open felt slightly better than I had been in over 5 days. I also go a gnarly shot and I get to take 10 days of augmentin, and on the 16th, I go to have my tail fully excised…which I guess if they take my tail that means that I don’t get my cool powers…but for all the pain that I’ve been in, it’ll be worth not having the tail or the cool powers…

I don’t know what the name of it was, but I do know that it’s a deck of cards and that they’re in a box and that they’re conversation starters, they ask questions, and the point is that everyone at the table has to answer the question. Me, I’m shallow I think, I worry about one thing, and everything revolves around one thing: ME. Ok, that may not be true all the time, but it is a true fact, most everything that I think about in some way shape or form involves me. So it really wasn’t a shock that when the question “If you could ask God one question what would it be” came up, I immediately thought about something that involved me.

My answer was “why did He let me get diabetes?” And then somewhere along the way around the able and between the answers “to slow you down” and “why didn’t He create women first?” I was like, wait, we can ask any question to which everyone was like “YES!” and then I said, “then it doesn’t matter why I got diabetes, I want to know why he won’t cure it”

Of all the questions in the world that I could ask God, I wanted to know why He won’t cure my diabetes, like that is of any importance, it doesn’t matter, I’ve got it and I’m stuck with it end of story…why on earth would I waste my one question on something that really doesn’t matter and that I’d probably sit and brew about the answer to…that’s so dumb…

Dad had a really good question “How could you forsake your son?”

I was at the Apple Store yesterday for a workshop and while I was there I asked them if they sold clothes to put between my keyboard and monitor when I closed my laptop that way my screen would be protected. They looked at me like I was crazy and told me no.

So of course, I had to recount my story to Markus and just as Markus is always good to do, he points me in the direction of what he uses. He uses the computer buff that he got from the Intel Store. Seeing the picture and hearing that his laptop screen is 13.3in just like mine, I decided to order one…

My order stopped when I saw that the shipping was going to be $31.02 for my $2.50 computer buff.

After complaining to Markus about the cost of shipping, I promptly emailed customer service:

I would like to purchase this computer buff:
http://www.bdasites.com/theintelstore/xtreme_product_display.asp?xtremeid=85F7306D771644029A739FF0D5B9E75F&iu=&pid=INTC701092%2D00&pic=701092
But the S&H is coming up as $31.02. That seems unreasonable.

Could you possibly tell me how it’s being calculated for being sent to the 87124 zip code.

Thanks,
Courtney

I’m really hoping that it’s a mistake, because I really want one.